Chelsea Finds Jesus

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I struggle with feeling inadequate in most areas of my life; it’s a thread that pulls when I stretch towards personal growth. It snags when I look at the laundry piled up on the couch, unravels me when I think of the tasks I didn’t accomplish when I lay in bed at night. I can trace it back across most of my memories, quietly leading me to believe that I am insufficient for a purpose.

But God doesn’t see inadequate when He sees me. He sees me. And loves me. I choose to believe that God does not make mistakes, and I am His creation. His Word is truth, and cuts through the lies of the enemy, the lies that keep me knotted up with anxiety, riddled with holes in my heart. Not anymore, heart. Today I rebuke the spirit of fear and comparison that threatens my joy, in the name of Jesus. Who Am I today?

My Creator, my good Father, my Abba Daddy, who has created me with purpose, who loves me exactly as I am today, without caveats or comparisons, says I am Enough and I choose to walk in that truth. I have no trouble believing God when the Holy Spirit speaks directly to me, but I have to learn to also find God’s voice in His Word so I can receive more opportunities to hear from Him. He told me to step into the role of Mother, and I listened then, turning my whole career into a giant question mark, and He knew me then. I stepped so far out into faith, that I scarcely recognize myself these days. Perhaps that’s why I feel so inadequate; this isn’t the life I imagined, and definitely not the one I believe I deserve. This beautiful, messy, hard, joyous cacophony of happy squeals and dirt, this unending pursuit of learning discipline and obedience, this is the life Christ called me to live.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

If I spend my days feeling like a failure because my home doesn’t look like a magazine, I am letting fictitious comparisons rob me of joy in my everyday life. This doesn’t just apply to my inability to scrub baseboards, either. I compare my body to what I know is Photoshop, my children to their peers, my success to my friends’ material things, my troubles to strangers’ victories…. My walk with Christ to someone else’s. Left alone with these thoughts, my imagination creates huge disparities between me and the rest of the world, leaving me tangled up in my own thoughts while my life passes me by.

But my God has called and equipped me for this life, and I am enough for Him, as I am today. I have to shift my perspective to an attitude of gratitude, of praise and thankfulness. God, You took the broken threads of my life, and are weaving me into a victory for Your Kingdom.

Thank You, God, for perfectly creating me to serve a purpose. Thank You for all the experiences in my life that have equipped me today to do Your will. Thank You for the Holy Spirit that lives in me, for the power and authority to speak life over myself and those around me. Thank You for making me sensitive to Your voice, so that I can hear You speaking to me. Change my thoughts when I feel that I am inadequate, when I believe the lie that I am not enough. Help me remember that I am enough, because You Are Enough.