I guess God has been preparing me for storms, because both my home church (Hill Country Fellowship) and my virtual second church (Elevation) had sermons this month on the topic. I don’t know how much more clear God could be for me as I navigate the waters of careers and marriage and parenting.
So here’s the thing, I’m comfortable with the idea of storms. I’m not inclined to sit in the storm and mope about whose fault it is, or spend time asking God why it happened. God’s will and plan are so far above my pay grade…. It’s my job to work on aligning myself to God, and I am making progress here. I used to start with the assumption that I probably caused the storm in some capacity. After all, I ripped through people’s lives like a tornado for most of my young adult years, and definitely through the first decade of my marriage. Now I’m ready to face a storm that I am not the cause of, with faith in the goodness of God, and the power of the Holy Spirit through Jesus guiding me.
“But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him.”
Hebrews 11:6 AMP
I want to please God, and I want to be near Him, because I have experienced His presence personally, and I know He is real. I have barely scratched the surface of understanding and hardly grasp the depth of beauty of the Bible. I have wrestled to believe I am good enough, and that God would choose to use me for His purpose. But I have to move past that old lie now.
If I want to live the fullest life God has for me, I have to believe that God wants to reward me for seeking Him. And when I am intentional about gratitude, I see rewards in my life already, abundantly beyond anything I could ask or imagine. Things I never asked for, never could conceive, are part of who I am today. I’m telling you, I would never have imagined being me today. I am praying out loud in front of people, regularly. I’m cultivating friendships and reaching out to people just to check in. I’m taking the neighbor kids to church on Wednesday nights, every week.
But how am I going to ride out whatever storm is headed my way next? How am I going to grow through what God is doing in my life? How am I going to keep pushing forward in relationship with God because I know there is so much more available to me? If I can just stretch my faith a bit more, I can learn a lot more about God as He refines me.
“And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.””
Mark 9:23 NASB1995
If all things are possible through faith in Christ, does it mean our inability to access the full power of Christ is because with each generation, some faith has been lost by separation from Christ’s physical presence and personal relationship?
No, seriously. Look at what the disciples were able to accomplish because they had so much faith in their Rabbi, and they barely had a clue what was happening in their lives as it played out, as far as I can see. Mark 9:14-29 and Matthew 17:14-21 are two perspectives of events as the disciples fail to rid a child of a violent demon, but Jesus (of course) does so, and then tells the disciples they have little faith. I mean, they asked, but also, Ouch. Also, that’s kind of a recurring theme when Jesus is with his disciples. (See also: Matt 16:8, Matt 17:20, Matt 21:21, Mark 4:40). I mean, have some faith, guys! It’s no wonder it’s hard for me to believe some days. These guys were living it, and still missed the mark some days.
But here’s the bunny trail. “But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.” (Matthew 17:21 NASB1995) This has totally different implications to me with the understanding that Jesus knew specifically what sacrifices humans would have to make to achieve that level of relational power with God. I mean, I know I wouldn’t last a 40 day desert fast and come back a spotless lamb. I can’t pass a bag of Oreos and come back spotless. So then, I wonder, if each generation is falling short of the faith of the one before, how much power have we cut off from ourselves by distance from God? Are the miracles of the New Testament far-fetched? Are they impossible? Just how far from God am I? What sacrifices am I willing to make to close that gap? I feel like I am finally starting to get that concept that I am capable of immeasurable power through faith in Jesus Christ, but that I am incapable of gaining access to His power without earnestly seeking Him and striving to live righteously with Him. I have soooo much room for improvement and He has soooo much grace for me as I work on it.
Oh! Another bunny trail! In Mark 9:29, fasting isn’t mentioned. “And He said to them, “This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer.”” Also, my fancy Bible app says that Matthew 17:21 was not in early manuscripts. I bet there are a whole bunch of opinions on that fact!
Ok, I will certainly write a future post called “Consequences of My Own Actions” where I lament this decision: I am going to study and then try a fast sometime in the next month. I want to deepen my relationship with God, and I am curious how humbling a fast will be for me. Up to this point in my life, I have been unwilling to even entertain the idea of going dairy-free for my own health. Let’s see how I handle being hungry for Jesus. I gotta say, I will have to really be looking for reasons to fast, because I feel like Jacob and Esau is a pretty good example of why I shouldn’t fast. Being hungry can be dangerous. Jesus certainly seems to be hungry and rather uh, decisive in the story of the fig tree withering up.
Now in the morning, when He was returning to the city, He became hungry. Seeing a lone fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it except leaves only; and He said to it, “No longer shall there ever be any fruit from you.” And at once the fig tree withered. Seeing this, the disciples were amazed and asked, “How did the fig tree wither all at once?” And Jesus answered and said to them, “Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ it will happen. And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
Matthew 21:18-22 NASB1995
Have faith, and do not doubt. I can move mountains, but I have to keep my eye on Jesus, and I have to trust that He is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path (because Psalms 119:105 says so). I have to have His word in my heart so it comes out of my mouth and when the doubts creep in or the lies begin to whisper, I can confidently say I am victorious because Jesus is victorious. I can weather the storm because I know who is in charge.
It’s up to us to turn back toward relationship with God through Jesus. We can regain lost ground in our lives, and stand on those moved mountains. We do this through prayer, study of God’s Word, and in community with other people pursuing the same relationships with God. Find a small community of believers (and I cannot recommend enough being part of a group of people that you wouldn’t normally find together, except for Jesus) and intentionally be part of each other’s lives. You create a place where people can be open and vulnerable, and God can move through these people freely to work in each others’ lives. I know in my small group, whole families are being changed, and the only constant is Jesus. Our circumstances ebb and flow like waves, victories are celebrated together, and failures are carried together to shoulder the burden. If you are weathering the storm, be in community and be encouraged by others. If you are living joyously in Christ, be in community and share some encouragement. So much of my faith today exists because I borrowed some from other people until I found my own.
God, Thank You for the gift of acceptance as storms come into my life. I know that You are there with Me in them all, and that You are doing a good thing in and though me. God, Thank You for choosing me, and for Your desire to be in relationship with me. Thank You, Jesus, for being the way back to relationship. Thank you for being a perfect example for me, for standing in my place when I should have faced eternal judgement, and for being my advocate with the Father while I am still on this Earth. Thank You for my community, for my friends and families that are walking with me in this life, and for the opportunities You are providing for each of us. Jesus, I would ask You to protect my family from storms on the horizon, and from the ones I won’t even see coming. Jesus, You know my husband’s heart, please honor his dedication to You and to his family, and provide him with clear direction and tangible victories. You see he is a good man, and he earnestly desires to live a righteous life. I believe You have placed me here and now to watch him succeed and be part of it. I believe You are setting this victory into motion even now, and I have faith that You will bring Phillip to a place of freedom from his own fear and doubts, to a place of resolute optimism and tireless striving for connection with You. Holy Spirit, make Yourself heard in this situation. Illuminate truth to me, and give me words that resonate with my husband. Use me as a vessel of encouragement, and close my ears to unintended offenses. I have faith that You are bringing our family to a victory, and I will stay steady on my course. Holy Spirit, make me aware of Your presence. Guide me in my steps. I am ready to tread into deeper waters, and I know You are there. Give me direction as I stumble into the waves, seeking You. I am ready to humble myself more through prayer and fasting, to present myself to You as a living sacrifice, Holy and Pleasing to You. I know that You will honor my obedience to You, and I will wait earnestly for You. Amen.
Chelsea Finds Jesus 
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